How to Talk to Your Teen About Mental Health
Key takeaways:
Many Latino youth struggle with mental health issues, but stigma and lack of access to services can prevent them from getting help.
Some Latino parents think that talking about suicide can lead their child to take their own life. But talking about suicide can actually help prevent it.
There are some strategies to help get your teen to open up about their internal struggles. You can share cuentos and dichos, have open and nonjudgmental discussions, and ask simple questions like “Are you OK?”.
Table of contents
Does your teen or preteen seem down, stressed, or moody? If so, you’re not alone. Many Latino kids struggle with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. But stigma and limited access to resources prevent many young Latinos from talking about their mental health.
As a parent or caregiver, you can do something about it. There are evidence-based strategies to discuss mental health issues with your teen.
When to talk about mental health and suicide
Parents should start discussing difficult mental health topics, including suicide, by age 10, recommends Adriana Alejandre, LMFT, founder of Latinx Therapy, a directory of Latino mental health therapists. “I think it's necessary to bring up mental health conversations to normalize them because elementary-age children can experience thoughts of suicide and not understand them,” says Alejandre.
“Suicide is also a subject that comes up a lot in middle school and parents aren’t aware of that,” adds Alejandre. In fact, death by suicide is the second leading cause of death for children between 10 and 14.
If you have multiple children, start with one child and then integrate everyone over time. Alejandre also suggests conversations around the news and social media.
“Suicide can come up anywhere these days,” she says. “Parents need to be aware when something happens and it’s in the news so they can guide them to appropriate resources.”
7 ways to talk to your teen about mental health
There’s a lot of taboo and secrecy around mental health struggles in Hispanic culture. For example, many Latino parents believe that if they talk about suicide with their teen, their teen will be more likely to self-harm. But the opposite is true.
Talking about suicide and mental health issues can actually save lives. Let’s look at seven ways to talk to your teen about mental health.
1. Share ‘cuentos’
Storytelling, or the sharing of cuentos and dichos, is a powerful tradition in Hispanic culture. Stories can impart wisdom, guidance, and understanding. And they can help your teen feel connected, validated, and empowered.
Here are some ways you can use storytelling to start discussions about mental health:
Tell about a time when you or an ancestor overcame a hardship or obstacle.
Talk about your own struggles with issues like stress or depression.
Share folklore to build your child’s cultural identity and heritage.
Ask other family members like grandparents to share childhood experiences.
Use consejos (advice) to convey empathy and compassion while inspiring your teen.
Read books together that talk about suicide or other hardships and encourage kids to ask questions.
2. Hold family meetings
“Allow your family space to talk about hardships and difficult thoughts in an effort to normalize mental health conversations or conversations about suicide in your home,” says Alejandre. “It’s important for those meetings to be flexible, not forced, and nonjudgmental.”
Alejandre says it’s OK to not have all the answers to your teen’s questions. Commit to finding the answers and getting back to them.
3. Use fotonovelas
A fotonovela is a booklet of vivid pictures featuring Latino models, simple text, and a dramatic story. It’s like a telenovela or Spanish soap opera, but in print format. Here are some examples in Spanish:
“Salir Adelante” follows a character who is ashamed to get help for her mental health issues.
“Una Familia Feliz y Saludable Comienza Aquí” features illustrated characters. There are three versions, and each tells a different story, but they all focus on talking about feelings and getting help.
“La Ansiedad de Jennifer en el Colegio” follows a young woman with anxiety about school.
4. Encourage conversations with family
Strong family ties are an integral part of Latino communities. The connections go beyond the core family to include aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents.
If your teen doesn’t feel comfortable talking with you, ask a trusted relative to spend time with your child. Your teen may be more open with them about certain topics than with you.
5. Use screening tools
A screening tool can help you and your child get an idea about whether they may have a mental health disorder. Mental Health America’s screening tools in Spanish (and English) can evaluate your teen for depression or anxiety.
But keep in mind that these at-home screening tools don’t replace the guidance of a mental health professional. A doctor or therapist can do a full evaluation and guide treatment.
6. Ask ‘Are you OK?’
“Are you OK?” is a simple question, but it can lead to a deeper discussion. You can also ask other open-ended questions, like “How did getting a poor grade make you feel?” or “How are you doing with the breakup?”
Make sure you listen closely and validate their feelings. Avoid judging what they say and reacting with statements like “That’s a crazy idea” or “You should know better.” Instead, make empathetic statements, like “You sound like you feel trapped,” or “It sounds like you’re really hurting.” Statements like these can get your teen to open up more.
7. Manage your emotions
Many mental health topics can activate a parent’s or caregiver’s own emotions, says Alejandre. Your emotional response can, in turn, upset or shut down your teen.
“It’s important to learn how to co-regulate so that our triggers do not interfere with our conversations and cause anxiety in our kids,” says Alejandre.
To help manage emotions, she recommends:
Doing breathing exercises to calm your mind and body
Practicing alone in front of a mirror and noticing which parts of your body react so you can manage them
Engaging in a conversation with another adult before having the conversation with your teen
WHAT TO READ NEXT
Suicide rates among among Latino teens
Studies suggest that suicidal thoughts and behaviors among Latino youth, especially teen girls, are on the rise. The reasons for this are not totally clear. Social determinants of health likely play a role, including economic stability, discrimination, and access to care.
For example, Hispanics and Latinos who live below the poverty level are twice as likely to experience psychological distress compared to those whose income is two levels above the poverty line. And Hispanics and Latinos are half as likely to receive mental health treatment compared to non-Hispanic whites. Part of this is due to limited insurance coverage and the difficulty of finding a therapist who can relate to their cultural background.
Alejandre adds that stigma about therapy and mental health in general also plays a role.
“This is culturally impacted by ‘machismo’ and ‘marianismo,’” she says. “There are so many ideas about how men and women should behave and think, and it doesn’t let our teens develop in a free, liberated, and emotionally safe environment.”
Mental health challenges can also bring shame to families because of the lack of education about mental health. “Families may ask ‘¿Qué dirán?’ or ‘What will they say?’” says Alejandre. “It’s a cultural element that prevents a lot of families from reaching out for help, thus hurting our children and teens.”
Signs of suicidal ideation
Teens who think about suicide often show changes in their behavior. These changes can be different for different people.
Even if you take steps to have open conversations with your child about mental health, there are some signs that suggest it’s time to get some help. These signs include:
Struggling with anxiety
Seeming sad and hopeless
Withdrawing from friends and family
Talking about death (statements like “No one would miss me if something were to happen to me” or “I hope I don’t wake up in the morning”)
Getting bullied at school or online
Having mood swings
Giving away meaningful items
Saying goodbye in a way that seems permanent
Researching ways to end their life
Take action right away if you notice any of these signs. Start by talking with your child and expressing your concern. If they share their feelings with you, take them seriously and respond with empathy. If your child doesn’t open up, ask them to talk with someone else, like a trusted friend, teacher, or healthcare professional.
Mental health resources for Latino families
If you know a teen who is struggling with mental health issues or suicidal thoughts, you can get them help. There are many culturally relevant resources and programs available to support these kids.
A good place to start is the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. This free service is confidential, available in English and Spanish, and open 24/7. Simply call or text 988 and press 2 for Spanish, or text the word “ayuda” to start a chat.
Here are some other mental health resources for Latino teens and their families:
The bottom line
Many Latino youth struggle with mental health issues, including suicidal thoughts. Fortunately, there are things you can do to lower their risk. Start by having open, non-judgmental conversations about mental health. If they don’t feel comfortable talking to you, enlist a family member like a cousin, aunt, or uncle.
Check in with your teen regularly, ask open-ended questions, and remember to express empathy. Your young person will be more likely to talk about their struggles if they feel safe and supported.
References
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